2015-12-31

The Butthurt is Strong in This One

Butthurt, precious, precious butthurt!  And such a deserving target.

Now I absolutely hate, hate, hate George Lucas.  But I'll give credit where it's due.  He was once capable of innovative film making and special effects.   His movies, while neither awesome, nor terrible, were possible of being just plain good.

But the stupid fucker can't ever leave well enough alone.  Most people are familiar with how he destroyed the original Star Wars trilogy,  by adding scenes, making Greedo shoot first, and reworking some of the special effects.

What really pisses me off about him is how he absolutely destroyed THX 1138 in the same way.

THX 1138 is a typical 1970's sci-fi genre flick, where the post-apocalyptic dystopia is the focus (see also Zardoz).  It features a docile population living an antiseptic, tightly-controlled existence, and the eponymous THX 1138 violates this order & is subsequently punished.

Thankfully, the honestly spectacular scenes set in the "white prison" are unaltered.  Whatever impulse that Lucas had to add a jar-jar character to this part of the film where thankfully overridden by what little sense the man still possesses.

The problems really start post escape.  The digitally-added ape-man surface dwellers are pure CGI masturbation from a storytelling perspective.  They contribute nothing to the overall narrative, and are the metaphorical dog licking his balls--George Lucas added them because he can.  End of story.

Then there's this (warning: NY Post) crime against humanity.

So after him proving that since the initial release of Star Wars, Lucas has been some sort of reverse King Midas, with everything he touched turned to shit.

So, him feeling bad is the best possible outcome.  The problem is, he's not self-aware enough to feel bad about his crimes against his own work, only bad about not being able to working his same shit magic on future franchise releases.

And what kind of charlatan would try to create a coherent universe, with a multipart epic storyline with "different planets, with different spaceships – you know, to make it new," in every instalment?   How the fuck is that world-building?

Take it away, Zoidberg:

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